Who To Be Blame? My Alarm Or The Government

        Indonesia got more worse than yesterday and the day before yesterday. I can see my future will absolutely be involved with this mess. Either i'll cant get out of my house or i'll got home with just my name. 

       Today (21/03/2025), i woke up very, very, very late. I felt so embarrassed and disgusted with my self. Because other than that, i had an appointment with my dearest friends today at 4PM. Meanwhile i woke up at 4.35. I never felt like a traitor so much. As if i was a celebrity who forgot about their old friends. I blame my late of waking up to my school, they did an event that took 12 hours without eating nor drinking (well, of course. We were fasting). I also blame it on my alarm, because how could they didn't go very loud. I actually remembered that i woke up because my alarm ranged, but it felt like i was still in my world of dreams. My soul hasn’t attached to my body yet. It was like a muscle memory. I turned it off and i went back to sleep without my consent. So stupid. 

      When i saw the clock, i jump out of my bed as if my bed was on fire. Thank God my low iron doesn't act up. Waking up very late, far from our appointment time is my biggest nightmare. My hair was awful, my body smelled bad, and my eyes were just operating. I quickly wear the most simplest clothes ever with a jacket so does it doesn't look so simple. I did my make up very quick since i've mastered it since i was 8 years old.  

      When i was on my way to the mall, the traffic was congested. I was hoping my driver and the motorcycle can turn to a ghost -me too of course- so we could went through all of the vehicles. While my driver was dealing with the traffic, i was dealing with my apology speech for my friends. I gathered all the possible things that could happened and structure it all in my head. I have a typewriter in my head that works day and night. It was quite hard with all of the distractions. Motorcycles who can’t wait to trespass the red light, the cars that couldn't stand the motorcycles anymore so they just push the horn, and the motorcycles also didn't like to get horned so they horn back.

      Tick and delete. Tick and delete. No... I cant lie about me waking up late. I must tell the truth. They're my friends.

      So i delete all the dialogues in my head and decided to just tell everything that happened. I was trying to run when i arrived at the mall. But i just remembered that i haven’t ate. But i did it anyway just a bit. At least i was still trying not to be late, although i was already one hour and thirty minutes late. With a throat that felt like a dessert, i kept fast walking and passed people who were walking so slow. I saw people’s faces and i just can see the subtitles on their faces, saying "Is this girl chased by someone?". If i could answer i would answer, yes. I was chased by time. 

       I saw the restaurant and just like a knight, i put on my armor and my iron helmet. Just in case they were so angry about me and start throwing arrows. With a smile i approached them as if nothing happened, when everything has happened. I noticed that one of my friends isn’t there, so i ask where is she. And it turns out she can't come because her parents didn't allow her. I was sad because i really want the six of us met fully. I sat at the end of the table and trying to catch my breath because i just sprinted, they look at me with a worry but also curious face. They asked me, politely, 

"What happened?"

I was so scared to told them. But i did it with an embarrassed sweaty face. 

     And their response was nothing but a jesterly smile, and gave me a matching toy that we all have now. The didn't get mad at me about anything. And they said that they've been waiting for me. All of the hate comments that i prepared to receive was none. So, we continue to opened our blind box toys. Im sure that i've made them panic and worry, because they were waiting for me. If i were them, i wouldn’t forgive my self and will slightly ignore me. Im also sure that they felt like that too. I bet they felt disappointed about me. But god knows i have never intentions to disappoint anyone in my life that i love ever. 

       We continue the night with laughter and i could be my self for a little while, after spending days with new people.

Oh... How i love them. They are so nice. I've always punishing time for separating us.

      On my way back home, the traffic was still jammed. And i began to blame on the governments again. How could i not?. This city that full of lights and lives, wasted potential people. My mind is too big for this messed up city. The music in my earphone isn’t loud enough to cover my mind. I could've gotten more time with my friends if i wasn’t late. God bless i got home without a part of my body was missing. And i shall recall this, because we never know in the future 'what’s going home' gonna be like.